It's raining and I'm in a rather reflective mood this morning. Even though I'm feeling a little depressed and uncertain about some of my decisions, I also have a feeling of accomplishment: I've finally decided what to do with the rest of my life and with that momentous decision made and all the paperwork complete, all I have to do is wait.
I take a sip of tea and watch a raindrop cascade down the windowpane. The last two weeks have been like that raindrop with all the pieces of the multi-layered puzzle that is Justin Finch-Fletchley finally falling into place. Two weeks ago, when I'd given up hope of ever getting into Imperial College in London a letter came which stated that I'd been accepted to the School of Engineering. In addition, I've been accepted into the specialized program for Historical Architectural Engineering students. In other words, I'm going to be allowed to study the principles and construction methods used in creating some of Britain's greatest historical buildings and learn how to restore and preserve structures older than one hundred years of age. Mum and Dad are ecstatic, my mum especially. She's the one who has been pushing me towards being more Muggle than magical because she just can't visualize me as being part of the magical world. I, on the other hand, want to stay in the magical world where all my friends from Hogwarts are.
Unfortunately, her attitude and my stubbornness have led to some rather heated arguments which all end with me being terribly confused and depressed over what I'm going to do for the rest of my life.
Then, the solution to one of my many problems presented itself in the form of Megan Jones. I ran into her one morning in July in Diagon Alley as she was coming back from an assignment. We had lunch together and I told her about the rift that had been developing between my mum and me (my father has stayed out of our arguments). Megan was very sympathetic and suggested that she and her mum get together with me and mine. What transpired the day the four of us got together has changed my life. Not only do I have something to study in the Muggle world, I've also been apprenticed to a wizard who restores old magical buildings. I have Megan and her mother to thank for helping Mum and me come to an understanding and a mutual acceptance of what I want to do in life.
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ate_justin- Justin Finch-Fletchley
- After the End: A Harry Potter Role-Playing Game
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Mum is nervous. She’s fussing over the tea service in our dining room for the fourth time in twenty minutes.
“Justin, does this look all right?” she asks. “I don’t want the Joneses to think I don't know how to set a proper tea table.”
I walk into the room carrying the last platter of lemon and blueberry scones and give her a one-armed hug. “It’s fine, Mum. Megan and her mother are not expecting to be treated like royalty. They’re my friends... I’ve seen Megan with more ‘bad hair days’ than I can count since I was eleven... and they’re probably just as nervous about this meeting as you are,” I tell her, trying to be reassuring.
At that moment, the door bell rings, making us jump. With a breathless, “They’re here” Mum hastens to open the door. I follow closely behind her.
Megan and her mother are there and her mother does look a bit nervous. However, when she sees me, Megan smiles. "Justin." She then turns to my mum. "Nice to see you again Mrs. Finch-Fletchley. And this is my mum, Kendra Jones," she introduces and her mother offers her hand for a handshake.
Mum clasps Mrs. Jones’ hand in both of hers momentarily. “Come in, please. Tea is in the dining room,” she says in her best hostess voice. She turns to me. “Justin, please lead the way to the dining room. I’ll bring the tea.”
“Yes, Mum,” I say. I can’t help smiling at how quickly Mum can change her demeanour from jumpy and nervous to all business. As she leaves, I ask Megan and her mother to follow me.
The small rectangular table has been set for four and since I already know where each of us is to sit, I pull out a chair and seat first Mrs. Jones and then Megan. Mum comes in with the hot tea pot. She smiles at me and I seat her as well before taking my own chair facing Mrs. Jones.
Mum pours our tea and begins passing the plates of savoury items. There is a plate of tiny Cornish Pasties and salmon on toast points. Small cucumber sandwiches sit on another. From past experience, I know that Mum will give our guests a few minutes to taste these before passing around the slices of sweet Saffron cake, her brandy snaps and lemon bars, some small current tea cakes and a large platter of lemon and blueberry scones with clotted cream and home made blueberry jam.
"This all looks so wonderful," Mrs. Jones compliments taking a cucumber sandwich. "And you have a lovely home."
“Thank you. We’ve lived here since Justin was two,” she says. “It’s been a rather strange seventeen years to say the least. What with Justin choosing to go to Hogwarts rather than Eton.”
Mrs. Jones nods. "I can imagine. However, Hogwarts is best for wizards and witches. The best place in the British Isles to learn about magic from what I've heard."
“That’s what Professor Sprout told us when she visited after Justin sent his letter back. I had no doubt that he would get a fine education at Hogwarts and we had evidence of that the very first time he came home for holiday,” mum says. She looks at me as she continues, “Justin could control himself by then...no more accidentally broken windows, no more text books morphing into comic books, and certainly not the neighbourhood bully suddenly finding himself on the roof!”
We laugh at my embarrassment until Mum says quietly, “That was all so long ago it seems like a different lifetime. Now that Justin’s a grown wizard I... I’m having a hard time.” She turns to Mrs. Jones and asks, “How do you cope with a house full of magical people when you’re not one yourself?”
"Besides, I love my girls and I'm proud of them. We certainly have had some incidents before, but that is to be expected. The one thing I have learned is that while magic happens, some accidentally, it isn't a bad thing. It's a power they were born with, like some are born with certain abilities in other aspects."
I’ve been watching Mrs. Finch-Fletchley’s face while Mum speaks and I can tell that she’s struggling with my mother’s candour. Finally, she says almost to herself, “I’ve been so selfish... I’ve been so focused on my own negative feelings towards magic and how Justin’s being home has interrupted my life that I’ve completely ignored his needs since he got home!” She looks at Justin and reaches for his hand. “I’m sorry, son. I haven’t been very accepting of who you have become.”
Justin takes a deep breath and picks up his tea cup. “It’s OK, Mum,” he mutters.
His mother shakes her head. “No, it isn’t, Justin. I’ve been so worried that your casting spells to clean up the soot or letting your owl out to hunt will get us into trouble that I haven’t thought about how you feel about things.” She turns to Mum asking, “Will Justin get in trouble if he does magic in our house?”
"He shouldn't. They usually have to pass tests..." Mum glances at me.
"N.E.W.Ts," I fill in for her.
"Yes, those. But mostly it is just so no underage people do magic, I'm certain. Megan's done a bit of magic at our home without any problems. And some of it is quite useful."
“Is it wrong for me to want Justin to go to university instead of getting a job or an apprenticeship now that he’s back from California?” I hear Mum ask. I’m a little apprehensive about this, but can’t justify the feeling. “Mrs. Jones, do you think I’m being completely silly to worry about things like this?”
"You may call me Kendra. And all mothers worry about their children. It's just harder for us because we can't be a part of that world, no matter how much we want to be," she answers. "It isn't wrong for that, but in the end, you have to let Justin decide what is best for him."
Megan’s now nodding sagely at me, a small smile on her face. “Do you have any plans, Justin?” she asks.
“Yes, I think I do,” I tell her. “When I was at Davis I loved the science and maths courses I was taking as prerequisites for an engineering degree. Mum and Dad have provided me with a stack of brochures for some Muggle universities I might be interested in. But that’s not going to integrate me back into the Wizarding world now, is it?”
Justin seems to perk up at my offer of help. He has changed since we left Hogwarts: he seems to be reverting to his post-second year personality when he had so much catching up to do after to the Basilisk incidents. I can feel his confusion and wonder if there’s more to his demeanour than he’s letting on.
He asks, “Do you know of people who might instruct me in magical building techniques? The other night when we got together, Ernie suggested that I could look into apprenticeships, but I have no idea where to start inquiring.”
"I could certainly help you get into contact with someone. I don't know anyone off the top of my head, but I am sure there are people," I offer. "I will look around and see what I can find out. Also, perhaps Headmistress McGonagall would know of some openings too."
I glance from Justin to our Mums, wondering how they are taking this. Justin's mum is looking slightly uncomfortable. It could take her some time to get used to Justin being a wizard. My mum had been ready for this since I was born.
Justin puts a hand on his mum’s arm. Very seriously he says, “Mum, I’d really like to pursue the apprenticeship as well as the university degree. It may take me a little longer to complete my education, but if I can learn techniques and principles in both disciplines I can contribute something to both my worlds.”
Elise inhales sharply, as if stung by what Justin has just said. “I think, Justin,” she says tersely, “that you had better think long and hard about what you just said. If this is what you really want, then I think you’d better start looking for a flat of your own. Don’t get me wrong. Your educational trust fund will cover any expenses you incur while you are attending university and you are welcome here any time, but I just don’t think I could handle much more hocus pocus around this house.”
Mum stares into her tea cup as she answers in barely a whisper, “I’m afraid my aversion to magic will just hold you back. It was easier to cope with when you were younger and away at school, but now that you’ve been back little things like owls flying into the house at all hours or the fact that something can be cleaned up instantly just makes me uncomfortable.” Lifting her head to look at me directly, she says, “Justin, I don’t want you to come to resent me. Can you understand that?”
Numbly, I nod my head and glance at Megan for help.
Megan clears her throat. "I live in my own flat, but I come home to visit. It works out well. Especially since my hours at work can vary. But I do have some Muggle things such as a telly, a phone," she pulls out a cellular phone from her purse to show us before putting it back. "A mix of both heritages," she smiles. "Besides, many our age live away from home, especially for our jobs."
Mrs. Jones nods then glances at Mum. "I know you might feel it is best to set this limitation of magic. I find it hard at times, and you might not ever get completely used to it, but it becomes easier."
"Mum is a bit jumpy too at times," Megan says. "But the choice to move out was my own." She pauses and bites her lip. "I don't want to speak out of turn, but perhaps being exposed to magic will make you less nervous about it. It is more than hocus pocus."
I couldn’t be more grateful to Megan for her kind words. I glance up at her and catch her eye. “Thanks,” I whisper. I turn to Mum. “Can we talk about this more in-depth later... with Dad?” I ask.
Mum nods. “We will, Justin. Are you... are you disappointed?”
I’ve got mixed feelings about the whole situation, but feel I’m still reaction mode. “I’ll be fine, Mum,” I say closing the subject. The four of us sip our tea in awkward silence until Mum clears her throat and asks no one in particular about something I know she hasn’t dared ask since I brought Bettelheim home.
Mum looks at me. I wondered if she had ever asked Dad that or if this was the first time.
“Well, owls are faster than the posts Muggles send. They can arrive the same day. Also owls fly directly to the person. They can be sent any time, day or night. And owls are usually very strong. They can handle most weather conditions…”
“But they come down the chimney,” Justin’s mum remarks.
“That one owl you sent came that way, the windows were shut,” Justin explained.
“Owls who make deliveries like to personally deliver their letter or package to the witch or wizard it is addressed to. They prefer windows, but if they can’t get in that way, they will find other ways.”
“Like the chimney,” Justin adds.
I nod. “Exactly.”
“They’re really not too bad,” Mum speaks up. “We have one. It lives outside, though it has a cage when it gets cold outside. It’s friendly enough, but it took me awhile to get used to him flying in and out like that.”
Elise says, “I know this is silly, but I’ve heard owls are like bats and will fly in your hair if they get a chance. Is that true or was someone putting me on?”
I can’t help but start to giggle. “Who did you hear that from?” I ask.
Elise looks slightly annoyed as she answers, “Another parent, one who said he had a daughter in Slytherin House.”
Glancing at Justin who winks back at me, I say, “That guy was definitely lying to you. Owls have good eyesight because they hunt at night, so they won’t fly into your hair. However, if they’re rather elderly, they just might keel over.”
Justin grins. “I remember now. Ron Weasley had a owl that was so decrepit it keeled over when it delivered its letters!”
I laugh. "And it flew into everything. Usually bowls and other things at meal time.”
“Well, I remember how it was when you and Caley tried to teach the owl some things,” Mum starts and I find myself blushing.
“Mum, I was twelve,” I insist.
“It was adorable,” she starts and I know I’m turning even more red.
“Well, you wouldn’t let us get a dog…” I mutter, feeling my cheeks burning, but I can’t hold back the laugh that escapes.
Justin looks really interested in this embarrassing story and looks across the table at Mum expectantly.
“Well, we have an owl at home. The girls wanted a dog, but we pointed out that Megan was already at school and had a cat and that Caley would soon be at school too. With my husband and I both working, it wouldn’t work having a dog,” Mum starts and I start looking at the teacup closely. Flowers. Very lovely flowers on the cup. Justin’s mum has nice china.
“Since we said no to the dog, they tried to teach Mercury, our owl, to do things like a dog.” I look up when she pauses and blush when she catches my eye.
“We tried to teach him to play fetch,” I admit. “As well as shake and roll over. It didn’t work well,” I add, glancing over at Justin. He knew some of the stunts I pulled, along with the others in our house, but I’m still a bit embarrassed by this story, though when I was twelve, it had seemed like a good idea. “You couldn’t train cats to do those things so Caley and I thought we could try with Mercury.”
“I don’t suppose post owls are good at catching anything that’s bound to pop,” Justin chuckles, looking over at his mum. She’s smiling a little at the story and I think she’s about to launch into an embarrassing Justin story.
However, Mum glances at her watch and taps it saying, “Megan, I promised your father we’d be home by half-past five.” She looks at Elise.“
For a second, I’m too shocked to respond as she says, “Thank you so much, Justin, for arranging this meeting with the Jones family. Megan is a lovely girl and I’m really glad to have met her and her mother.”
Pulling back, I ask hesitantly, “Did talking to Mrs. Jones help you any?”
Mum smiles back at me. “Yes, it did. Our conversation made me realize just how lucky I am to have you for my son; not only because of your powers but because of how you can help both worlds through whatever you choose to do in life.”
I look at her incredulously. “You mean that you’re not going to push me any longer to go to university if I don’t want to, that I can choose what I want to do rather than do what I think will please you and Dad most?”
“Justin, every parent wants their child to go to university. It’s a fact of life that we plan for from the day we learn we are to be parents. With you, though, it’s a little more complicated. You have choices that other young adults don’t have. Please understand that I never wanted you to pick being a... Muggle... over being magical. If you can find a way to combine the two I’ll be glad of it, but if you choose to serve the magical world alone that’s all right, too... just as long as you contribute to your chosen society.”
I don’t know what to make of what she’s saying, because at the back of my mind there’s this little voice chanting, “Move out soon. They don’t want you.” Hesitantly, I say, “I’m glad you are accepting that I feel as though I need to balance both my worlds. The thing is, I think I have found a career path that will combine both worlds while satisfying my yearning to build things. I’m just confused as to why you want me to move out so I can pursue my dreams.”
I can only stare at her because her words echo those that have been zinging around in my head for the last few months, keeping me awake at night and distracting me during the day. And I wonder if she’ll be willing to help me apply to the universities I’ve chosen as well as help me research the apprenticeship I’m hoping to get.
Mum continues, “I’m sorry if I’ve shocked you today, Justin, but I’ve come to realize that our arguments of the past few weeks are a sign that it’s time for you to embrace that independent grown-up I forced you to become.” She reaches across the table and catches my hand. I don’t tug away for her touch is comforting. “I’m sorry I sprang my thoughts on you without warning. Can you forgive your old mum?”
I smile at her sadly because I just can’t shake the depression that’s come over me. “Yes I can, Mum.”
She smiles back. “Thank you, Justin. Please don’t look so sad and confused. It’s not the end of the world, you know, and your father and I will help you get settled wherever you choose to live.”
“Will you help me with my university applications, please?” I ask hopefully. “Several are due next week and I really do need to get them filed before the deadline.”
Mum smiles. “We certainly can do that, but you’re on your own for that apprenticeship you mentioned. I’m hoping Megan will be able to help with that like she said she would.”
“Thanks, Mum,” I say with a sad sigh. Mum picks up on it right away, so I ask, “Did having tea with Megan and Mrs Jones help at all today? Can you understand why it’s so important to me to not give up being magical?”
“Believe it or not, Justin, I do feel better about accepting your magical abilities.”
I smile for the first time since Megan and Mrs Jones left. “I’m glad, Mum because your non-acceptance of who I am really hurts and trying to give up being magical hurt even more.”
It’s Mum’s turn to look shocked. “Oh Justin, I never wanted you to give up being magical! Please don’t tell me you were trying to give up your talents just so I would feel more comfortable around you!”
I get up from the table and begin putting away the leftovers without using my wand. Having my back to my mother is easier than facing her; I’m too old to show my emotions so plainly, but the tear that plops onto the counter is too telling and Mum comes over to stand next to me. She puts a hand on my back, patting me gently. Then, suddenly we’re both crying and she hugs me to her and I just can’t seem to stop. I cry until I have nothing left, just as Mum does, and eventually we both reach for the box of tissues at the same time and our hands collide.
Mum giggles, “You first. You’re bigger than me.”
I was very surprised how good it felt to cry, and I still am. I haven’t cried since, but the emotional outlet helped clear my head as it seemed to clear my mum’s. Over the next several months I had many long talks with both my parents, Mum especially. Thanks to Megan and Mrs Jones, we’re getting along much better and the atmosphere in our house is much more relaxed due to the fact that Mum’s much more accepting of what I am and what I plan to become in both the Muggle and wizarding worlds.